I'm blessed...With a happy family..With a healthy body...With very very (self-claim)beautiful hair....with great friends though i don't see eye to eye with each and everyone of them..With a weird sense of humour...With a great opportunity to further my studies overseas..
With so much blessings,yet why sometimes I fail to see all these?Especially times of urgency,people tend to say true friends show etc,but why i can't see it in my life?Of times of my lowest time of my life,I reached out,only to grasp thin air and a bottomless pit of dreadedness..Exam period,a very complicated yet delicate time to organise my thoughts..not only i have more time to face endless books,while doing revision,sad to say,thoughts starts to wander too..
Yesterday night was the night I slept only 4hours..No,not because of revision,but because I worry...too much again...funny,its the last day of exam too..what i worry then?of course to say the thoughts of my difficulty in handling Physics questions doesn't exist is by all means a false claim,but besides an endless worries with formulas formatting on my bran,i worry again..my life in japan..we have to make choices again..this time where to go..i'm thinking Suzuka..Taking bio..yes,bio..after not having any lessons related to it for these 2 years.Worry that in a foreign land,will I be able to carry myself well etc..It's totally different from here,though far from home,language wise its easy for me to bond with fellow PPKTJs though most of them are malays..i worry too,about my results in this exam..And my silent behavior here,will it reflect that i'm a loner?How will I be in Japan..
Gosh,its after exam now,i should be happy,gay,joyful,energetic..yet i felt like a dead fish..haha..must be the 13laps of swimming just now,added with 4hours of slept in the morning..equals anxiety and de-joyfulness..hahaI even dreamt of what to write here in my blog yesterday,at 1am..bt agan,with one wake and 2 exams,its lost...sigh..go chat only lar...mata
歌如人生
5 years ago
4 comments:
My my.... you sound like me...
Ya, you worry too much i guess? Life in Jap is sometimes lonely(no mamak or such)but hey, thats why the internet was created for! It might sound a little 'pathetic' to be in Japan but just spend time onlining...well thats the truth...anyway, theres always places to go & new things to do, it'll be fun! Stop those negative thought of yours! Enjoy Japan! Don't worry to much la!
I totally understand how u feel, it's normal to feel insecure or unsure of what is going to happen in the future. but trust me, u'll get to know new friends and adapt to the new environment. it's not easy, but neither it is difficult. it's a once in a lifetime chance to see the world, to widen ur horizons and change ur perspectives on how u see things... it'll be exciting, and u'll find urself realising things that u never know before this. and definitely a better and mature person when u come back.
dont think too much, after u've decide just go forward for it. good luck, though we're far away, i'll always be there to support u!! :)
erm..erm.. teh weird sense of humour thingy.. not referring to me right? right??
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