~A week of deep thoughts~

Must have received some influence from reading my friend's blog.. the contents are kinda deep and serious,well,really i din know guys can errm,how to phrase this,be so touchy and emotional??okok,leave him alone lar,so i should just shut up here or else he'll probably just shut me off in school later..though i doubt he will but ermm,give face a bit cuz close pal ma..

well,unlike his one,(woops,dragging back to his blog again)my blog this time is kinda like a recent kinda thing and well...like my usual blogs i usually oni describe wat i have done for the past few days and not really put in some main plot or something in my story..so bear with me will ya??boring as it is..(heard this remark from numerous o readers di but wat do i care??its my habit n NO ONE will ever change my mind bout blogging,however boring it may be...so there!!)

begin with Monday i suppose..a day where we all have to return to our boring cells of learning our soon to be main lingua franca with a whole new look!!!Yupz,again,y is ppl always so dissatified and just have to think of some lame and unreasonable rules to confine or just make us abide some stupid dress code???though i do admit we look smarter (cuz IT IS smart day ler duh!!),neater and more pleasant to the eyes but then,wat is it with deciding the colors for the skirts or shirts too???VERY LAME!!~~~and my dear fellow classmates,i have and did abide the rules by wearing a long sleeved and colared shirt but they din stated there it HAVE to be WHITE mar...so why all of u just can't keep ur mouths shut and dun ask why the hell i chose a purple shirt to wear will ya?din ur mom ever teach ya never to question a gals' choice of dressing??be alert and dun act like a smart alec larrr..

and the rest of the days..i cannot remember the exact dates or days of the long weekdays..as my title have clearly stated(finally,something that reveolves around the title..hehe)a seriously do have some deep thoughts within tat not-so-short period of time..to begin with we have lots to cover cuz we have registered ourselves to sit for a public japanese test next Sunday...and well,it seems that we dun really have the time for extra coaching so as we were asked (no,make it forced)to study a whole 2 books of japanee Language by oursleves to prepare for the exam..so it was like,what the??i dun mind the memorising words part but hey,we gotta remember or memorise some yet-to-learn Japanese errmm,forgotten the english words but in Bm its...tatabahasa..i mean,being a complcated language,how are we suppose to know the specifications of using the certain verbs or adjectives etc?and thats what made me pressured to the max,not only we have to coope with our daily homework and revisions,now this pure-memorising-then-face-the-exam-ur-own-and-f-u-fail-its-ur-business kinda thing is way too much lar..really,took much memorising...

Then the "bad things comes in threes"kinda thing hapened to me...and woohoo lucky me,all is about my studies..hah!i dun actually remember the correct order of the happeninga but..got some very lousy marks for a hw tat Hashim gave us,actually got 3.5 outta 10 marks..was like...suprised like helll..though its just a homework..but hey,did i really did that bad??/guess so,the paper was like right in my face,wat can i say???again,excuses it is,i din really studied for the chapter of Physics anyway,in fact often i don't,i just get the formulas and just try to fit it in the Questions..knda stupid huh??really can't be bothred though my blood in my veins don't allow me to be the slacker kinda person but seriously picking up a physics note or book seems to weigh a lot to me..and thats when guilt sets in...and when tat happens,yupz,i'm in the blue again...oh yea,not oni the loads of more studying din help,i even panicked at the Maths quiz and flunked one simply-too-easy question..really lar,felt so totally hopeless..i mean,i thought of it too complicated i guess..it was way too easy n i panicked and messed up...totally screwed up..so was kinda sad tat day...n oh..the 3rd wan...got 6 yupz..SIX mistakes for my previous weekly testo...really pissed me off arrr!!!

Why is it i screwed up so badly???i was really seriously depressed for the whole week,and yeah,go ahead,since my best friend is the TOP GAL as everyone likes to refer her as...ignore my existance lar,like i care!Really,unintentionally i know,but hey,life is like this,ppl always refer to her as the top gal..even when talking we'll always say "err,u arrr,no need study oso can larr"though my gf have no airs but hey...it does make ppl like me(note: the not so eye-catching-and-not-so-brilliant gal next to her)felt kinda inferior..no,pls do not misunderstand me,i love being her best pal around for now,joining her doing all the lame and crazy(noisy) stuff but hey..i can't help feeling kinda like low-class kind..with no flying colours like hers,near perfect score or wat-so-eva..guess its my own problem,dun compare,dun compare..heard this a zillion times...but really was depressed with my current state.everyone and even myself know very well that no one can help me but myself when it comes to my studies but really is it all worth it i wonder??like my friend told me during his talks at dinner time..

i found some truth in what he says but not to the extent of not having a goal in life or aim for nothing at all...that part i do not agree...but really i sometimes do admire him for his carefree attitude but its not me..never will i be like him...no offence or hard-feelings dude!!lucky for my friend back in seconary school,comforted me throughs ms wen i seeked consolation from him..so nice of him and encouraged me to do better..really can count on him to be there...dunno lar,just felt blue the whole week..seldom talk to anyone,even so,have to force on being happy-go-lucky..kinda tiring i should say..felt very low durng this time period,especially in my studies...however hard i work it'll never be enough..sad...

oh well,went for a great movie of The Incredibles yst midnight enjoyed ourselves..but then we oni had an insufficient sleep of 4hours before we had to get up for sports day...today was really tiring but again it was fun..again,no mood lar..took the position of goal shooter and yet can't really shoot well...really tried my best di..but not bad lar,got 2nd place...then at softball..what is this lar,gals aren't as good as the boys i know but can't we just join in the fun???made us looked like some eejits having to ask a few times to get a position to play in the field..yalar,again,i cannot hit as well as my gf larrrr..F**k lar,why am feeling so blue today???hate this feeling,very uncomfortable..have all the negative charges right now..nmust be the lack of sleep..can't play well(tats already a fixed kinda thing),can't study well,can't talk well..WHAT AM I GOOD AT???

Even going out with friends today,met up with an old friend but we can barely lasted talking to each other for 10 minutes!really lo,life is kinda saddening though we are at we want ourselves to be..its really saddening when u were once so close to certain ppl and after some seperation or a change of surroundings,atmosphere, we barely have anything else to talk about..really sad..and that Alexander movie..so NOT recommended..for the first time in my life,i watched a movie so boring that nearly made me fall asleep..the history part is so boring,brutal(though i din mind one bit,not my gf though,who was clunging to me),and the plot...so-so lar..Angelina Jolie's acting is the part,only part,that is worth watching..mind u,i am a gal,so i dun go for her drop dead gorgeous body..but seriously,she potrayed the character as Olympias very well in the movie..it brings out the character..

guess i do have to end here..with only 4 hours of sleep and 20hours of actvities,i'm damaging my mind and soul by the seconds..so..hope i'll pass the exam this coming Sunday..lots to study..pressure,pressure...and exam on 26th of Dec!!ARRGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!why God gave us conscience??????????I HATE to STUDY !!!!!