~The day before D day~

29th of January..Keat Yee and Boon Hon's birthday.The day before I get my pin pulled out.Worried sick...I was so damn moody,down,blue..all day.Even thought of eating myself to death for I had plenty of time to roam Apita after finishing experiment today..But the thought of me gaining weight just made me even sadder..

I've gained,to be exact.2kg..It doesn't sound much,but it really shows.Damn,why of all places I grow fat on my cheeks first?Everyone who knows me knows that I 'love' to think to much,I have no idea why..I just hate my weight gain,yet when I get moody,I eat.I see that there's sale,I buy food.When I study I pop chocolates into my mouth,I love trying to make Malaysian dishes using limited Japanese ingredients..I'm helpless against food..Yet,I worry about it.It's a suicidal circle,eat,feel guilty and eat again..I could never be happy this way..

So it doesn't help when I have more worries on my head..The small operation tomorrow is one of them...It IS one step closer for me to get back to my normal life,but tomorrows process is a frightful one.I worry I couldn't sleep,that's why I blog to tire my eyes..I think too much..

And to give some replies to the comments on my previous blog,I did mention something like ' there is an end to this seemingly endless education road'?Yeah,well,it does in reality,ends with a PHD.But did I mention that it ends my learning life?I don't remember saying so..As far as I am concern,education with a cert if you guys want to put it,does end with a PHD..How much higher can you go?

Education(with a cert) wise,I wish I could reach there.That is my main point of worry,along the way,I will of course pick up;experience,fun,friendships etc..Comments I received seems to say that I lack the ability to see that there are better things in life than just get a PHD.(That's what happen when one just focus on one part of the blog..Read,and get the wholesome idea,please?)I do know all these are also important,I'm just stating I lacked passion in what I do and I'm doubting my abilities to go higher up the education road,that's all..Sorry if I offended anyone with my words..But that's all about blogging ain't it?It has been long since I write my own feelings..