~Not Feeling that well..~

Nono,i'm not sick or anything..though i have to wake up at 6.30am to fetch mum they all to school,having to sleep at 2.45am..then fetch May Ching to KL Sentral at 9.30am(really sorry for not taking u for breakfast..gosh,i have a tendency to starve u di..soreee)lunch was just bread n milk before i went to fetch mum and sleep back again at 2pm..really,i was so dead exhausted that i slept through the whole afternoon til 5.30pm.The lack of sleep really took a toll on me and i guess now tiredness,exhaustion and depression starts to kick in..thats what i meant by not feeling well..emotionally i'm really tired and in the blues the whole day..i have no idea what prone my sudden blues but it's just there..maybe its also due to some worriedness of my seniors in Japan,not knowing what will they do there,worried bout their condition etc..sounds pretty silly cuz i barely know them,any one of them well enough in fact..seriously.Anyhow,i'm just feeling blue and wonder like what Clement said,how will my life be in PPKTJ from now onwards?

Time really flies there and while i'm seriously making full use of my 3 weeks holidays,i'm going to sit back and relax for the next few days before heading back to school next Wednesday..my mind has been wondering a lot today(it always happens when u are in the blues huh?)ppl do change along with the ever changing course of time..though i really miss the times when i can really joke around with friends in my secondary class,went out with them recently and found that,no,i don't belong there anymore..as much as i want to share their conversation about teachers,fellow ex-classmates etc,it was HARD..really hard,their jokes,were suprisingly pretty "stunning" already..as in,can be really sharp and stuff,i would be a little suprise if non offence were taken,well,they dun seem to show they care anyway..well,i guess i've changed..no longer able to understand the cues and the "neh,u remember when,xx said something??" or "remember xx did that?" kinda stuff..pretty saddening.Anyhow,i have to accept it and memories of the happier times were just memories..(oh,emerson,sorry bout the mamak,was not the cheery me like usual,but u should talk more mar..)

As i have emphasise lots of time before,and sadly til now this fact still bothers me..my friends will change,along with their priorities namely studies to friends,girlfriends to old accomplies,the importants of the past,memories or the future..Seeing the seniors leave,made me wonder,seriously,WHO really wud see me off(besides family)?meeting with old friends at KM's party,i asked this question very casually and casually they did answer they would,but would they?I worry that who knows,by then they would be too busy to go on with their life that the casually-asked-question would be casually-forgotten..sigh..Even my best pal in primary school,after getting a boy friend,left to Melbourne last month without any notice..well,it was hard to contact her anyway,but at least tell me before u leave?gosh..am i the only one in the world who treasures friendship?start to think so..anyhow,i can't be bothered to hang on with friendship which i deemed is the most important in my life which throughout the years i have unconsiously believed,i will live on now, go to Japan,colour up my life with wonderful journeys and experiences..and for those in PPKTJ,sempai no kotoo shinpai shinai..sempaikara kitaga,nihongwa totemo tanoshikatasouda.ashitakara sempai tachiwa kousenni wakete jibunno kousen eiku souda..korekara watashi tachimo ganbarimashiou..jyamata..