~Just 10seconds~

After 7hours,I stopped short,lying horizontally against my single-bed,staring at the ceiling...
Wonder when was the last time I gave myself time to stare at the ceiling?
Not that its anything great or significant,but staring at the ceiling for just 10seconds,my mind was blank..
For once,tranquility was there.The pressure of 4 test within 3days this week,the sadness and frustration that I had done some mistakes was temporarily gone..
It strucked me that I had not been staring at the ceiling since....12..

Within this 8years..So much,so many things have happened..
I never once thought I can stare at this ceiling right now..
In a foreign country,with no family and friends..
I have been caught up with things happening around that I realised I should have treated myself better,instead of asking for more...or neglecting my own rights..

I'm getting tired nowadays..The silly mistakes in my tests is a sign..
I'm trying too hard,to impress,to fulfill my own ego..
10seconds was all it takes,to realise that I'm actually lucky,
That although lonely,a call is all I need to reach out for a friend..
If only I want to..
If I chose not to,I have only myself to blame for my loneliness..

I miss my old house's ceiling all of a sudden..
Not the new apartment I shifted in last year..
I miss the house I have stayed in for the past 18years..
Sigh..I just miss Malaysia all of a sudden...