~One after another~

So I finished my lab presentation yesterday.
After preparing it for about 1month or so..
Reading the journal 5 to 7 times to fully understand it..
But in the end still missed out 10% of it.
THE 10% which made the last 30minutes of my presentation a living hell.

Everything was smooth at first..
The first one hour,answered questions which was asked.
Getting comments about things I didn't know.
It was bearable,it was part of learning.
Hell came after the one hour.
I wasn't really sure what the author of the journal was trying to say.
Much less understanding the mechanism that was given.
And soon, people start to point out that it was pretty contradicting with what was the journal was proposing in the first place.
I had to agree though I was trying hard to say no.
I had to convince myself it wasn't my paper to start with,
So not fully understanding it is understandable.
But a part of me, THE part of me who made me came all this way..
Was blaming myself for not finding out the problem in the first place.
And trying to figure the solution out earlier.

And so,
I couldn't sleep AFTER the presentation.
Still thinking about the solution while convincing myself that it's OVER.
Sometimes,I can get pretty addicted to what I was doing.
Now that I'm all worked up, going back to lab doing experiment with my own pace..
Seems slow and weird.

Oh well.
I guess my next target would be studying for JLPT test.
Half a month.
OMG. I'm so doomed.