~exam soon,but what the heck~

yeah..i know,i shouldn't be here again..blogging wen exam is like..next week..but as what i've written above..wat the heck...well,i'll be studying at night wen i dun really have a choice,n wen "pressure" force me to bury myslef in books..but for now..the day is still young n bright..so..really...its oni Monday..finding excuses huh??blah..who bothers??

Saw the seniors today,came late,left early not following the usual routine due to exam..a noisy bunch i must say..next week is our turn...waaa...according to one of my Sensei,next weeks oral test is gonna be tough...well,we can't predict wats gonna come up..so..pray hard lar...hopefull i'll do better this time...i mean,at least up to my standard lar..dun really like to fall behind...errrmmm,certain malays,though iknow they are good..but..

yeah...wore my new baju kurung today..looks nice,i think..kinda cheap but hey,its worth it...love it..classes are just,classes...boring as usual..soon gonna go back n...more studies..wat is this man..now i know what contributes to my mood swings these few weeks..Pre-exam stress..been getting pretty cranky,sensitive..gotta control n get a grip of myself..shoots...ah well,since there's nothing much to write about..will end here i suppose..planning wat to do on New Year's Eve d..though exam not over yet..but like what i said...WHAT THE HECK!!!!

~BORRRREEEEDDDD~

yupzz..bored is the word for me right now..i am currently AGAIN,at home sweet home..blogging..yupz..no plans for the day..wanted to go mamak..but dun have the car..so i am stuck..thought of watching a drama i loaned from my Sensei but alas,the whole cd must be badly scratched or something,lag non stop while i watched on tv..spoilt my mood,moved to my pc..GREAT!!forgot that my speaker is no longer in service...haiz..wat a day..so..again..in front of my pc...why no one on9???sien like hell...ya i know,broken English all the way in this blog,but i'm lamenting my current situation here so..what the heck..this is wat happens when i get too bored,the birth of "rojak" blog..the Malaysian style..with all the Manglish,frequently used slurs..etc etc..

had a break from all the usual studying today with games during japanese affair today..was quite fun though the games we played are actually played by the primary school kids in japan..still it was fun with all the cheering n shouting..really nice,we won!!!wooo hooo..again,had another damn fu*king boring exam,spent so much time on 1 lousy paper..hopefully can get full marks this time around..every time..at least one stupid creepy little glitch will just turn up out of nowhere...seriously sick of it di..

which also reminds me of something..found that ppl cannot be too close for a long time..we tend to get sick of each other sooner or later..or so i think..had the feeling that my best pal is giving me the cold shoulders nowadays n getting more impatient... pre-exam stress??PMS??(hey,the two actually had the alphabet p,m and s)i dunno..oni time will judge i supposed...oh well..i think i'm like her too..it is,by the way,the reason we are so damn close,cuz we have a lot of similarities..being born 3 days apart,just that i lack her brains,her charm,her athletic skills,her aggressiveness...the list could go on..the point is,like her,i think i tend to get bored easily,ever wanting to have new things in life...hate routines n the feeling of there's a safe net..i dunno...again,like wat i said before..oni time can tell..n being the impatient aquarius..i can only look forward while trying to hold myelf from bursting..from wat??BOREDOM i supposed...

Oh..funny how things turns out huh???ever got the feeling that,there's this guy/gal that exist in ur school so cool n gorgeous/handsome but u'll never dream of talking to him or her??and if u do u felt like beng in cloud nine??hehe..i am being cheeky but as u would have guessed by now..i did talked to the guy whom i deemed well enough as in...by looks lar..(come on i AM still a teenager)and talked to him not for awhile but all the way back from lunch..so wat if he already got a gf??talking to him right then was like...wow...YES I AM EXAGGERATING..who asked u to believe??it is not a total white lie..i did talked to the guy,n yeah,this guy exist..the oni lie i told was the feeling...notice the word..FUNNY at the beginning of this paragraph?well,that's the main point...the thing is...i felt nothing while talking to him..just like any normal guy..SERIOUSLY..guess this is wat ppl said,(i dunno in english but here's a loose translation of a chinese proverb in English)u won't know wat is it until u get it,n u won't appreciate what u have until u lose it...something like that..haha..guess,its just normal teenage hormones..blah...crap oni..no feeling,just no feeling lar..

and o...been trying to burn away some fats around my oh-so-clearly-visible-there's-fat waist and cheeks...oni managed to do so to my waist..felt happy...but i know its wrong..i'm now oni taking a very light breakfast,partially full lunch and a beggars dinner...no,not the dirty food...as in,eat VERY LITTLE*_*heard from somewhere..have breakfast like a king,lunch like a queen n dinner like beggar..as for me..dinner is the hardest part..though i really dun feel hungry..its the disciplne that counts..i just have this guilty feeling of not taking dinner at all..so took little for each dinner...now my stomach dunno wat is hunger anymore..really...its not that hard,just the temptation to eat to satisfy my lust than my hunger..so far so good lar...will try to mantain..haha...wish my luck..can see results di..waist,no, my tummy flatter..really..yea,call me vain..but i do this for myself..not for anyone else..so there..

oh well..guess gotta end here..not going to blog till 2 weeks later..by then should be new years eve di..cuz..AGAIN we have to face judgement day of exam mar...die lar..i dun care..(speaking out of frust oni,who doesn't?)new years resolution??non i supposed,the world isstill round n life is still ever-changing..so..get a bf maybe??NAH>>>

~Words~

ok..no real diary stuff here..maybe a little towards the end..been reading a book n think some of these are kinda...dunno,u judge..

UNUSED TO...
Waked up in the early morning,the temperature was 62F.I was unused to it.
Mom called Jane to prepare the cereal for me.I was unused to it.
Driving to the downtown to buy new CDs,the clerks said that they didn't know who was Tanya Tzi.I was unused to it.
when i drove to the Fermont Bridge,it was hanged up to let the ships passing through.I was unused to it.
The Indian restaurant and the lunch without chopsticks.I was unused to it.
Dad talked to me in English.I was unused to it.
Typing in English,writing down my feelings in English.I was unused to it.

It was July,the temperatureshouldn't be 62F,it shouldn't be this cold.I missed Taiwan.
I didn't like the cereal,breakfast should be in rice ball,it should be omelet with ham,and it should have coffee milk.I missed Taiwan.
The clerks in the record store should know Tanya Tzi,they should know Jay Chow,and they should play more Chinese CDs.I missed Taiwan.
The bridge shouldn't be hang up.It's so diferent from Taiwan.I missed Taiwan.
People should use chopsticks to have meals,there should be a simple restaurant without Indian settings.I missed Taiwan.
People talked to me in English,why couldn't they speak Chinese?I missed Taiwan.
There should be Chinese character in my computer,I should type in Chinese,and my feelings should be written down in Chinese.I missed Taiwan.
I was unused to this city,I was unused to the temperature and the scene here.I was unused to miss Taiwan so much,I was unused to miss you so deeply.

By milk who misses coffee

~WORDS~
"Papa,Mama"the first few.....WORDS
"How are you?Long time no see.."the greeting.....WORDS
"Are you ok?How are you doing?"the heart-warming.....WORDS
"Goodbye,take care.."the heart-breaking.....WORDS
"I love you,i miss you".....WORDS,I would like to say...
"Fine,whatever".....WORDS,I can only say...

"I'm bored" my daily.....WORDS
"I want a boyfriend"my bestfriend's.....WORDS
WORDS...the tool to communicate,to love,to care....and to harm..
How many times I've been hurt by WORDS,easily said by others,oblivious to others around them..
How many times I'm in the blue because of WORDS?I lost count..
Time to stand up and face WORDS;however sharp and poisonous it may be..
Time to speak up using WORDS,for the rights...that belongs to...ME..

By...........
^-^ME....

~Crazy days..~

din blog for 2 weeks di...though not a big problem cuz i dun intend to come back last week..but couldn't withheld the temptation of coming home to on9,having to taste delicious laksa for dinner...its so much temptating than the lousy,routine of hostel life..drag ny best pal along cuz seriously..the whole week was about drilling n more drilling for the Sunday Nuo Ryoku Shiken..i had enough!!n potherwise...i've done stuying so...was more to do??was sure i'll pass but the catch is to score high...well,think i did ok...but was VERY down n blue wen i found out i actually changed 2 answers that was correct in the first place...blame myself for being such a fickle-minded person...n the 2 questions is very serious...cuz i made mistake at the part where its 3 points and 4points..as in,1paper have around 4parts...and each parts have different marks..the harder the higher marks..and lo-behold..mua got wrong for the 4marks one and the 3 marks one...and if have to average out n times 200 marks....for 2 lousy damn close answers..i lost 12 marks!!!!imagine that....fine lar..watever..was so god damn down that day..drag my friend to MV,had Secret Receipe cheesecakes,ice blended chocolate with whipcream..lasagna..haha..can't be bothered bout my weight gain for that day..as they say,chocolate is gals best friend n worst enemy??haha..consider that day,i fall in love with chocolate all over again...

this week i had to give my speech in english...for the first time the floor was mine..kinda relieved once its over but was pretty nervous before that..haha..talked bout bravery..prepared for 3 days lar,thanks to my friend who helped me altered a bit here and there,giving me examples,ideas n TEACHING me history..managed to pull thru..can say its kinda good standing in front where eveyone's attentively listening...haha..

which reminds me of an incident which i trully wanna forget..as i was writing,preparing for my speech..
my roommate came in..so,i asked her to pin in some ideas of the suitable word to use..and much to my suprised,she barked at me fiercely citing:"i'm not in a good mood,why dun u go n ask ur gf who is good in everything??who am i compare to her??i'm just a pile of shit mar.."and i was like"wha...???whats wrong with u?"n guessed wat?"SLAM!!"the door was shut right in front of my face and out she went!!!can u imagine how embarrassed i felt??as if i've done something wrong n deserved tobe humilliated like that??having a migraine is not an excuse to vent it out to mua u know??and if that is not enough(i forgotten bout it later on,haha),again,she had to go tell-tales bout me in front of the teachers in school...great!!if u wanna change room...go ahead lar!!!but why of all things in the world,u have to go to find the teacher??who like most japanese teachers or better still ppl do...gossip??words does spread like fire here..soon enough,my jap mentor came n ask my close fren about us..great...life is so great!!hahaha...not..get a grip lar,do wat ever u like just stop messing with my life!!

Life couldn't get better..(bitterly speaking)yesterday,my best gf came in with a happy grin on her face which,i soon found out brought a deep frown to my head...nothing serious..just that,she got back her results for all subjects and again she is the top after averaging out the 4 which consists of Japanese paper,english,physics n maths...and mind u..NONE of it is lower than..91%..for every subject..happy for her?ya...sure do..but i didn't forget i have MY results to find out..and of all days,that day was the day my class teacher have to come in in the last period..great..and i'm a very well known anxiety-type of person and the suspence is more than enough to weigh my mood down the whole day..of course,i do roughly know my marks but the eagerness of knowing wat position i get is really killing..so..last period came and....RELIEVED..it was not as bad as i thought,but the marks......really need to put in more effort next time around..sigh..

And..another issue of these 2 weeks...weird ppl lar here...I AM NOT PRETTY NOR CUTE...so dun flatter me into making me believe i am!!this weird senior,having to so-call show some interest,gave me a burger through another sempai,n kohai..as in treating me...not that i mind lar,but attempting to ask me out???NEVER!!!call me prejudice,but this Malay fella,is ok lar...usually say hi or greetings in school enough lar...dun have to stalk me till eat in the cantten HAVE to sit next to me..speakingto me at every opportunity given..and stop teasing me with him!!!!argghhh...ya,i'm PREJUDICe la..just say lar,i'm finally admitting here...i dun like him at all...

Look...i do enjoy being around with my Malay classmates,friends..of with we do chat a lot and joke around together..but this is a senior i'm talking about..who approached me with too much eagerness i should say..arrghhh...spooky...but anyhow,i got to know one of my classmates better this week..chatted a little,find him quite nice n pretty good in sports..helpful i would say..n today we had Jamuan Raya,been bc doing duties,decorating,helping out here and there..starved myself too,cuz not time to eat...it was an event not to be forgotten,fun n noisy..though the heat was unbearable,but it was kinda cool...just that been studying till late night yst so kinda sleepy the whole day..the part i enjoyed most today was...funny,but washing the dishes..weird huh??i volunteered to help my fellow Malay gals n gf..called the sushi-gals..haha cuz they were the ones in charged to make sushi for today..we actually joked a lot today,n i enjoyed being with the Malay glas..really funny n enjoyable,splashing water accidently,joking,laughing..with no language barrier,religious barrier,whatsoever..
it was nice..felt i know them better n closer..like wat a friend told me,we might get bored knowing our own kind and getting to know the Malays better is a good thing..they too have their own sense of humor and its kinda refreshing to know their culture,and stuff...haha..really glad i came in here,cuz in my seconary school last time...the ppl i faced is oh-so familiar till theres nothing interesting anymore..and being a rebellious Aquarian,i dispise routine life..

well all to be said...a lot has been on my mind nowadays...but like what my friend told me n i already knew it,of cuz...it is part of life and part of growing up..by facing obstacles only then we'll grow to be more tactful and experienced..so..i few more sleepless nights,here i come...